We turn to friends and family, we immerse ourselves in work and creativity, we cloister ourselves away, we become very still, we stay in motion, and we set off on a journey with no fixed date of return. Grief is individual and absolutely life-altering.
No one dodges grief. We seldom think about it and don’t like to talk about it, and if we live long, the griefs escalate and build as we move through life. Our journey here might be likened to a symphony of griefs with a resounding finale.
The joy that counterbalances grief, and the grace that helps us go on – these things we seem to have to work at and cultivate, whereas grief is guaranteed. It is said that grief is as unique as the love that precedes it. Maybe that’s why grief makes us feel so alone, so set apart.
But we’re not alone. At any point in time, over a third of British Columbians are grieving the recent death of a loved one. If we include losing pets, jobs, health, abrupt changes in life circumstances, and the whole spectrum of loss, we’re all grieving something. And support is available in a range of modalities.
Bereavement can be a lonely place of heightened sensitivity and weariness. It can be especially difficult to find understanding company. Even the most well-meaning, loving people can be out of sync, for grief moves quickly sometimes and slowly at others. Many grieving people need extra nurturing while they process their loss, but they may struggle to find it.
Adele Anderson, a Life Coach and Death Doula, understands this need after her own life-altering experiences and profound grief. She has created a stunningly beautiful retreat environment for the grieving at her private waterfront property on the Sunshine Coast. Anderson offers individual, family, and group retreats tailored to different needs. Her location provides a soothing and uplifting natural environment. She offers solitude or the company of others who truly understand. Anderson says her Grief Relief Retreat offers the “unparalleled power” of human connection and shared experiences: “In-person retreats provide the opportunity to connect deeply with others who truly understand what you’re going through. Common bonds of grief and loss offer safety, genuine empathy, support, and release.”
Grief can make one feel like a ghost. It may even be that others, in their confusion, avoid the bereaved. In-person retreats are a wonderful way to be seen. Anderson explains: “Too often, someone suffering from deep loss feels invisible. Some friends and family and co-workers may be uncomfortable to, or just cannot find the words to ‘talk about it.’ Being physically present in a retreat designed specifically for grief support may make it easier to open up about your feelings, feel seen and heard, because RETELLING is a crucial step in the healing process.”
A wide variety of intentional healing activities are offered at Anderson’s retreat, such as meditation, visualization, movement, stress reducing, philosophy, spirituality, ceremony, nature walks, and more.
When we grieve, we often ‘soldier on’ and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. This sometimes means losing perspective and missing the profound opportunities for transformation that grief can open up. Because grief was thrust upon us, there can be a great deal of healing in choice. Choosing can be a beautiful act of self-care.
“There’s something inherently transformative about stepping away from your daily life and immersing yourself in a supportive, compassionate environment . . . Choosing an in-person retreat means choosing to immerse yourself in an environment where every aspect is designed to support your healing. It’s a choice to connect, share, and heal in a deeply personal and impactful way. Our Grief Relief Retreat offers this sacred space where you can find solace, understanding, and hope.”
Anderson sees everything in life as energy. The great energy of grief is the reciprocal form of the great energy of love. But the process does not need to be harsh; as her website explains:
“The process of healing can be gentle, like a release of tension, sadness, limitation. This allows that energy to be repurposed towards self-confidence, self-worth, happiness, passion, and purpose.” The bereaved do emerge, usually with a strong commitment to joy and gratitude. Grief can be the crack through which music sounds, and light shines.
